weather wat u doing?

So I have to complain right now about the weather in England because it's DRIVING ME MAD!

So today is the 25th of March. Correct? And the first day of Spring occurred 5 days ago. Right? Then why does the weather have the need to make it SNOW in some parts of the country? It's fucking snowing in the North. SNOW.

*white girl voice* Ugh weather, snow was like soooo last month, have you been living under a rock or something?

But seriously? Luckily here it's only windy but it's meant to start raining and there has to be a little bit of sun and you have to smell pollen and sneeze because it's FRICKING SPRING. YOU HEAR ME? SPRING

Now that's only the recent weather antics that piss me off. Oh that's just the starter. I have more to complain about so you better be ready.

Now the weather in England is so fucked up, one time we had a "drought" when it was RAINING! Literally some parts of England had frickin floods and the government are all like:

They were even like "you must not have baths, only showers as you are wasting water." Bitch there is water falling out of the sky and there are cities in the same country full of water, there is more than enough to go around.

Seriously we complain about all sorts of weather, us English don't even understand it. We complain about everything.




England when it's sunny: BREAKING NEWS WE HAVE A DROUGHT, HOSE PIPE BAN!
England when it's windy: AND YOU LITERALLY CANNOT GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT BEING BLOWN AWAY
England when it rains: Ugh more damn rain. When will it change?
England when it snows:

Even if it's only one centimetre of snow.

And I still have more to complain about. YOU CAN GET ALL FOUR SEASONS IN ONE FREAKING DAY.

True story. Seriously. One time I woke up, looked outside and it was windy (this represents autumn)
By lunch time it was really sunny (represents summer)
In the evening it began raining (this represents spring)
Then at night it started snowing (this represents winter)

And because it's so messed up the weather people can't get it right so things like this happen-

Weatherman: And as you can see London is going to be chilly today, about 3 degrees Celsius so remember to cover up warm.
Me: *wears coat, gloves, scarf and hat*
Me: *goes outside*
Sun: *randomly appears* Oh hey bitches, bet ya didn't see me coming, time to turn up the heat! BURN BABY BURN

Or

Weatherman: And today in the South East of England it is going to be warm so slap on some sun cream, get on your sunglasses and enjoy the sun.
Me: *wears t-shirt, jeans and trainers*
Me: *goes outside*
Wind: HEY GURL You ready to feel THE BREEZE!

It is so irritating. Especially when people say to me "OMIGOSH You're from England! I love England, I want to live there one day!"

If you want to live in a country where you can't go outside knowing what could fall on your head any second
GO AHEAD
If you want to live in a country where you have to pack three extra outfits in case of a random weather change
GO AHEAD
If you want to live in a country where one day it's cold as fuck and the next everyone is sun bathing
GO AHEAD

But once you're here don't start complaining about how crap the weather is.
Actually you can since we do nothing else. But once you begin living here remember your life is now devoted to complaining about the weather.

Thank you for having me and good night! *Bows*