Fear

My life is run by fear.
Fear of others
Fear of judgement
Fear of getting hurt

I can never say a word unless I rehearse it a thousand times, making sure no one will find it offensive, making sure it makes sense, making sure that I don't sound like an idiot. It's hard and confusing and annoying. I want to post a status of Facebook but I think- wait what if people judge me for this- what if people laugh at me- what if at school people ask me what I meant- what if it gets too much.

When I want to give an idea in class it takes me 5 minutes before I actually say it. Making sure that my teacher will understand and that it's not a stupid idea. It's like I said in my previous blog post I'm restricted. But this time I'm restricting myself. Not letting myself live.

I want to be able to talk without fear of judgement. I want to be able to post a status on facebook without worrying what people will think. I want people to see my videos and understand more about me as I person but the fear that people will laugh stops me. But to be honest out of all of these I think the biggest fear for me, which stops me doing all of this is

The Fear of Rejection

-Minoo